Reflections on my upcoming trip

The house is quiet, which happens so seldom that I find myself rushing to enjoy it while it lasts and trying not to miss the chance to enjoy it at the same time.  Should I attack my to-do list or relax a little?  The voice of reflection calls my name because my thoughts are running in a million directions. 

What will it be like? 

I leave for West Africa in a little more than 2 weeks and my heart is full of so many emotions.  I’ve longed for this day since the end of my last international trip 7 ½ years ago.  I’ve been in a season of having babies and being mom to my little people and the door hasn’t been open for me to step back into this part of who I am.  Until now. 

Questions fill my mind.  Will I still love learning about new cultures?  Will I be able to do the things I want to do with the “new” physical limitations my body has since my last trip?  Will I be an encouragement like I want to be to my friends serving in West Africa?  Will I be able to detach emotionally from my family in the states enough to serve apart from them?  Will this trip awaken my longing for living/serving overseas and how will that impact my stateside ministry and my family?  Will my children do okay while I am gone?  Will they understand why mommy left and agree it is important?

I was serving the kids their lunch today and Jayden complained about the food.  Since she’d rather not eat at all than eat something she doesn’t “like,” I encouraged her to eat a little so she wouldn’t be hungry later.  I then pulled up a picture of a little boy in West Africa that my friend Amy is helping nurse back to health.  I showed the kids the picture of his little distended tummy and explained how not having enough food to eat caused his body to do this.  We talked about how having food to eat is a privilege, even when it’s not exactly what we want at that moment. 

I was hoping they’d get it.  I was hoping this would make more of an impact than reminding them with words alone that there are hungry children all over the world.  I told them that mommy would see this little boy in a couple of weeks and I’d be taking him some clothes and vitamins Amy requested for him. 

Jayden looked at me with her sweet, expressive eyes and said, “Mommy, I’d like to do something for this little boy.  Can we help him?  Can we send him something to help make him happy?”

She got it.  And I breathe deep and pray that her heart will continue to grow tender for the hurting in this world.  She ate her soup and didn’t complain further. 

I pray this trip will bear much fruit.  If the only fruit it bears is in my own home, that would be enough.  But, of course, I pray for more.  I am leaving in faith that the One who calls me is faithful. 

I am excited.  I am nervous.  I am hopeful.  

Hopeful to continue exploring who I am in Christ - who he created me to be.  Hopeful to serve.  Hopeful to see the work God is doing in POWER among my coworkers in West Africa and to celebrate with them the dedication of PBT’s first whole Bible.  Hopeful to share the joys and struggles of missionary life for a short time with a dear friend.  Hopeful to laugh with her, to cry with her, to wash dishes and do laundry with her.  Hopeful to be obedient in the small things, as well as the big.  Hopeful to grow.  Hopeful to cry at the things that break the Lord’s heart and to share all of these things with my own children, that they will grow to know this missional God who calls them by name and makes them him own.