I am cautiously hopeful that my grandma may have turned a corner towards getting better. Yesterday and today she has shown some marked improvement over Saturday when we first arrived in town. She has been more alert, even able to talk a little. She told me she loves me and was even able to focus on the doctor as he talked about her condition today. She is, by far, not out of the woods yet, but she has surprised the doctors with her improvement. Her white blood cell count went down from 74,000 (which freaked the doctors out since they've never seen a count that high before) to 40,000. This is still high, but it indicates that her body has begun to fight off some of the infection of the superbug. Her CT scan showed there was no need for further surgery at this time, which is wonderful since the surgeon said she would not survive another surgery.
The biggest change is that her fighting spirit has returned. The nurse told her today, "We just may lick this yet!" and grandma said quiety, "You better believe it!" She has even managed a couple humorous remarks - a BIG difference from Saturday when she was unable to keep her eyes open and was struggling for every breath.
Yesterday morning we were talking about pulling the meds and fluids from mawmaw and beginning to talk about funeral plans. She has a living will that was making us question whether we have already gone too far with treatment and we wanted to honor her wishes to be allowed to die naturally. Afterall, every doctor in the place said she had a very slim chance of recovery and she was very near death. We didn't want to hold on too long. We wanted to let her go to her reward.
We each began saying our goodbyes, assuring her that we were sad, but that we would be okay. She always said that she wasn't scared to die, but that she just didn't want to make us sad. We told her it was okay to go be with Jesus if she was tired of fighting. I got to tell her how much she means to me - that she has been the kind of grandma every child dreams of. She got tears in her eyes as she listened to me share some of my favorite memories. On Saturday and Sunday she couldn't respond - but, she loved us with her eyes, looking from one of us to the other. Her eyes said she loved us and she was worried about us.
But today, our hearts are full of joy.
From this day on, every moment with her is stolen time. We're still praying for the Lord's will and direction. He has performed a miracle in her life before, twelve years ago when he saved her from dying during an emergency bypass surgery. We have been blessed beyond measure during those twelve years. She's seen each of her grandkids get married. She's seen the birth of 5 great grand children. The memories are endless.
I am thankful tonight. I am at peace. Praise the Lord for his never ending love for us and for his unchanging presence in our lives. How would I live in this world of suffering without Him?
Thank you, Lord.
2 comments:
Lins-I am so thankful that you have got to spend such meaningful time with your Grandma. I will continue to be in prayer for you.
I'm so glad to hear you were able to express what you needed to say. Even if the Lord doesn't call her home immediately these times during this hospital stay will end up part of your treasured memories. I'm sure your grandma knew the things you told her, but loved hearing them anyway! Continuing to keep you in prayer.
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