Kindergarten at last!

Last week was an exceptionally difficult week for me, for multiple reasons. Nathan was on his first trip since Isaiah's arrival, so I was playing single mom with three kiddos for the first time. It isn't so much the number of children that made it so difficult, but the fact that one is still a nursing infant and therefore, extremely high maintenance. In addition to the normal challenges, we had the added surprise of Addy catching a stomach bug over the weekend which made for a couple of really long and smelly nights. The hardest part of the deal was that she missed her first two days of Kindergarten as a result.

Kindergarten. I can't believe she has grown so much, so fast. I know it's a cliche, but it certainly does seem like yesterday that we were living in Lincoln and brought home from the hospital the most beautiful little bundle with us. She was a surprise from conception (can you say honeymoon baby?), but she was God's gift to us and I have tried to treasure every moment of being her mommy.

I can remember just before my wedding as friends were making plans for graduation and beyond. I was so sad because I was the only one remaining in Lincoln and I didn't know what I would do without my girls. In a way, I believe the Lord answered my prayers for a friend by blessing me with Addy. She was someone for me to love and take care of - to invest myself in.

Adeline is so much like her mommy. She is a perfectionist, and a legalistic rule follower. She is analytical, detail oriented and loves to read. She loves princesses and dancing. She has the best belly laugh, which is usually heard as a result of something silly her daddy did. She is a wonderful big sister - Isaiah lights up everytime he sees her. She love to clean and help around the house and is an eager learner.

Which brings me back to Kindergarten. This was one of the first major acts of letting go that I've had to do as Addy's mommy. I know it is just the first of many, but that didn't make it any easier.

The morning of her first day of school, I walked through some things she could expect and as we were talking about the lunch room, she asked, "Momma, will the teacher pray for lunch for the whole class before we go to the cafeteria, or after we get there?" I almost cried. We prayed very hard about our decision to send her to public school in Dallas, but even so, I couldn't stop the knots in my stomach as I dropped her off.

There is so much she doesn't know and so much she will learn from her days inside the walls of that school. I cannot tell you how hard it was to tear myself away from her class that first morning - to let her soar on her own, without my help. But I don't want to hold on too tight - I want her to learn to be her own person and to develop the gifts God's given her. I want her to be missional, to develop a heart for people of every race and culture and to want all people to know Jesus.

She had a rough day on the playground her second day. She came home crying because she sat alone on the bench while the other kids played. We talked through some ideas of ways she could engage the other girls in play the next day and she came home that day much happier, having found a couple girls to play with. I was so proud of her.

If I didn't know it already, the last few days have shown me that being a mommy is a really hard job - training a child in the way she should go is a little harder than it looks and loving a little person so much is certainly setting myself up for heartbreak. But this is a job I wouldn't trade for the world. I pray we can teach her well and help her become the little lady God has purposed for her to be.

Before leaving the house the first day.

Lining up for class the first day.

Just after school the first day.